Samantha Drake: My Thoughts, My Words, My Life

Lights, camera, action! The Dancing in the Street Motown Review is back in town and the city is buzzing. The Miller Outdoor Theater is home to this annual tribute to Motown’s greatest vocalists.  The event was a special treat for those who grew up to the soulful melodies of artists like Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gaye, and The Temptations.  This is an annual event spans three days during the Memorial Day weekend.

The Motown Review was a nonstop flow of timeless hits.  Aretha Franklin look-a-like sang Dr. Feel Good just like the original.  The wind blew gently as the onlookers sang, danced, and enjoyed the show.   I soaked in the ambiance and spirit of the people who came out to enjoy good clean fun.  The event indeed called for dancing in the streets.  The family event was packed on all sides.  The seats were filled with little room to spare on the grass seating areas.  People of all ethnic backgrounds joined together to pay homage to a legacy of music that transcends all ages. There were teenagers, baby boomers, and young children all lifting their voices in joyous celebration.  I am proud to have been a part of this wonderful event. Community members who volunteered and donated funds to put on this project should be commended for providing free family entertainment for all of Houston. 

As if the music was not enough, the dramatic costumes allowed the viewers’ eyes to dance with the array of colors.  Bright sequin gowns for the ladies and cool “cat daddy” suits for the gentlemen was the attire of choice. The Midtown Art Center Dance Studio, directed by Gretchen Jean, provided interpretive dance for each vocal performance.  The power of music, art, and dance truly could be felt sweeping through the air.  The Motown Review provided a venue for all who card to join, the opportunity to spend time with their families in a safe fun filled environment. 

In a time where soaring gas prices, expensive restaurants, and general economic difficulty run rapid in our communities; there was a relief to have the opportunity to go out with the family, have a good time, and not spend a small fortune. I recommend anybody who loves great music to come out next year and support The Dancing in the Street Motown Review.  It was a beautiful event and I hope to see you all at next year’s celebration. 

My purpose for writing this blog is to talk about commenting. Although writing is fun and often a tool for stress relief it is fun and helpful when the readers comment.  Reading the comments left for me by fans, or just those interested in what I have to say help me know what things are most helpful. 

As many of my fellow bloggers know, writing these posts is a very theraputic tool.  Blogging helps to share your life and experiences with the masses.  Blogging is a form of free counseling for me.  I enjoy writing about my life because I want to help others.  I want people to know that they are not the only one going through hard times.  I want them to be able to share in my good times.  I want to be proud of you and I would like my readers to be proud of me. In another post I talked about some blogs of mine that have been turned into articles.  Since then I have had another article published as well as a short story.  I will leave the links to those pieces at the bottom of this post.

I want to remind all readers not just to read, but to participate in the blogging process.  Leave a comment. It doesn't hurt to share your views and opinions with the writer even if they are opposite. Different views makes the conversations held in blogs interesting and present different points of view.  Having said that.....don't be afraid to comment.  I love it and I'm sure the other bloggers do too. 

The links to my new article and short story are

http://www.authspot.com/Short-Stories/Nobody-Told-M
e.124058

and

http://www.socyberty.com/Society/We-All-Have-a-Name
-What-Does-Yours-Say.124057

I am so excited and proud of myself.  I have always enjoyed writing.  What I usually do for fun has turned into something more.  I blog on several sites includeing Wordpress.com, Blogger, and now on a site called Triond.  Well the great news I have to share with all of you is that Triond has found several E-Zines to publish my work.  Some of the pices I have written for MyFox Houston.  I am so excited about the opportunity.  If you are like myself and find writing to be theraputic, go to one of the above mentioned sites and blog until your heart is content.  Youl can get some great feed back.  If you would like to read any of my articles please go to the links listed on this blog. Feel free to comment on the articles as well.   Again I wanted to thank all of the people who read my blogs.  I hope that my words help you in some way. 

Miracles and Blessings

samantha

Here are the links.  Thanks again for your support.

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Regret-is-a-Wasted
-Emotion.121544

http://www.authspot.com/Thoughts/Evaluate-Your-Life
.121532

http://www.socyberty.com/Education/Where-are-the-Te
achers.120660

Today I had my annual ARD for my son Marquell.  After the meeting I began thinking about the way I process the information presented in the meetings as well as the observations I make about Marquell at home.  I realized immediately that it is easy to become confused, frustrated, and sad about how difficult it is to make sure that your autistic child is being properly educated.  Then I had an absolutely wonderful idea.  I am not sure if there are any support groups for parents of autistic children.  I would lhowever, like to start a support group for parents of autistic children.  I believe that forming a system where information can be shared will be a tremendous help for parents who are just learning that their child has the disability as well as to parents who have been working with it for a while.  I would like to invite anybody that has been affected by autism to e-mail me.  As of now I am an army of one. I would love for other parents, siblings, teachers, advocates, etc. to get involved.  I believe that the group  would be beneficial for both the parents and the children.  If there is anybody interested in joining me please e-mail me at drake_samantha23@yahoo.com .  I would love to hear from you all.  Thanks and have a great day. 

Also just for a quick second I'd like to talk about the Blogger Picnic.  I have had one of my very loyal readers PB Mom ask if I would be at the picnic.  I unfortunately have a previous engagement and will not be able to attend.  I really hate that I can't make it becuase I would like to meet all of the people who have come together to help one another on this site.  I'm sure that some day our paths will cross.  I wish all of you great success in the development and education of your children. 

Miracles and Blessings

Samantha

drake_samantha23@yahoo.com

Tomorrow is my annual ARD meeting for my 6 year old son, Marquell.  I was going over his IEPs and his BIPs and I have to say that they really are not well thought out plans.  I have been going back and forward with the school about my concers, my questions, etc. and it has all been an uphill battle.  I have reviewed the IDEA book and From Emotions to Advocacy to prepare myself for the meeting. I am really upset because I think that I may have to hold Marquell back a year.  He has done extremely well academically, but his social skills have regressed during the 3rd 9 week grading period. 

I can't help thinking that there is something I could have done better. I can't help wondering if there is more that I could do.  I feel that the school really is not doing their part, and that is really why I am upset this evening.  I believe that the parents and teachers should work together to make sure that each child is getting the tools necessary to be successful throughout their education.  I have offered myself to the school and have had the "figurative door" slammed in my face.  I would like to send my son somewhere that the teachers are better qualified to deal with his autism, but the reality is tha I could not afford such a school. According to IDEA standards his educational goals should be preparing him for life after school.  These goals are not being met.  I am not satisfied with what has been done this school year. 

 Marquell has had no problems until the end of the second 9 week period.  The teachers, principal, and the aid, all handle his behaviors differently leaving no consistency.  The lack of consistent forms of punishment is confusing to a fully functioning child and even more so confusing to an autistic child.  His recent difficulties with social skills have me concerned about whether or not he will be ready to go to the 1st grade.  His grades will make sure that he is promoted, but with all of the probems that he reportedly has been having socially; I'm not so sure he will be ready for 1st grade.  I cannot believe that I am considering holding Marquell back in kindergarten. 

I am trying my very best to remain calm and collected about the meeting. I am just so annoyed at the fact that rather than identify the cause of the behaviors in order to prevent them; the school is satisfied with reporting the behaviors.  I was and still am under the impression that the school is put in place to educate.  There is no education going on for Marquell at Hunters Glen Elementary.  The teachers, principal, and other administrative staff all run in circles to avoid dealing with the issue at hand.  Also the lack of structure and supervision in the classroom is the reason my son, as well as many others are constantly having a difficult time.  I would like to see some participation on the part of the school.  I am very accesable and I have not been called on.  In fact I have been constantly ignored and pushed to the side. When I send an e-mail I seldom receive a response.  When I get the rare phone call from teh resource department it is only to address an inappropriate behavior. 

Miracles and Blessings

Samantha Drake

I am writing this blog to address the absent nature of many of the teachers in today's schools.  I have an autistic kindergarten aged son who has recently been experiencing some behavior problems at his school.  I am most concerned about the problems that he's been having because up until now my son has never displayed any behavior problems.  The notes that have been coming home suggest that there is no supervision in the classroom.  Now don't get me wrong, I understand that a teacher cannot be at all places at all times.  However, I got a phone call from the school that my son kicked two students in the line on the restroom.  My question is this, "What is happening that the teacher does not ever what happens before the inappropriate behavior occurs?"  I have had numerous meetings with the school, administrators, etc. to discuss his behavior intervention program (BIP). 

There seems to be no true supervision in the classroom.  I have observed this fact first hand.  The teacher pleads with the children to sit down, be quiet, pay attention, keep their hands to themselves, etc. and the children rarely heed her instructions.   My grievance with what has been going on within the class rooms is that there seems to be no connection between the teachers and the students.  When I observe my son's class the teacher seems to be detached from the children.  It's almost as if she is on autopilot.  I graduated from high school in 2001 and I must say that as I remember it, things were the same then.  We floated from class to class listening to what might as well have been a recorded lecture.  There was no feeling in the majority of my teachers.  Some even went as far as to say that they were only there because they had no other options.

I believe that those who teach play a vital role in the development of our children's lives.  It is the primary obligation of parents to teach their children right from wrong.  When a child goes to school they learn how to interact with others.  They learn what is socially acceptable and are given the opportunity to practice those things.  It is the duty of the teacher to educate our most impressionable and valuable assets.  The difference that a teacher can make in the lives of their students is something that is so special. 

Is there anybody out there who may be experiencing the same issues that I am?  If so, how have you been dealing with them? 

     My blog today will focus on the importance of consistency when dealing with a child that has autism.  My son was diagnosed with PDD in early August.  Since then I have been doing a great deal of research to find ways that would help his growth and development.  The thing that I have learned to be most important is consistency. This is a method of teaching and training that holds true to children who do not have special needs as well.  When I work with my son we have a routine about the direction a day goes in. We incorporate chores into his day to help him learn responsibility. It helps to have a daily routine especially for homework, chores, and bedtime.   For instance in the morning we brush our teeth, make our beds, and then get dressed.  After school we have a snack, play outside for abot 15 minutes and then start our homework.  Once we are done with homework we have dinner. After dinner we bathe, have computer time, read, and then go to bed.  Sometimes it is difficult when he doesn't want to follow the schedule and that is when we discuss the consequences of being disobedient.  If I have to tell him to do something more than three times then computer time for the next day is taken out of the schedule and we add a little more reading.  Things like this help to keep his focus on the routine.  Since my son is mostly affected through his speach, I make sure that we spend time reading.  My son can read now and so this helps with further development of his speech. I also talk to my son a great deal.  This helps him see the way that words should sound and when/how they should be used.  I have noticed a lot of improvement with his conversation skills. 

What other ways have you guys incorporated consistency with your children's learning routines?  Which ways have been successful and which ones have not? 

Any adult knows that it is important to keep a record of everything.  I have written several blogs concerning my son and our journey with autism.  One lesson that I have learned early and that applies to many areas of adult life is that documentation is vital.  When a parent is requesting services for their child, making a complaint, asking for a review, etc. ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKE SURE IT IS WRITTEN.  When a request is made verablally there is always an opportunity for the other side to say that there was never a requet.  When a complaint is made and there is no evidence of the complaint there is always an opportunity for the other side to say, "I never was made aware of a problem."  With my son I have had several problems with the Hunters Glen Elementary staff not wanting to be accountable for their actions and the role that they play in my son's education.  My best friend in this uphill battle is the e-mail.  I make sure that every request or concern that I make is written down.  I save a copy for myself and at ARD meetings I present a copy to each member present as well as a copy to be put in my son's file.  Not to say that anything bad will ever happen, but there is always the possibility.  I have learned in my short time on this earth that it is always better to be safe than sorry. 

Parents make sure that you do not leave the fate of your children in the school's hands.  It is important for you to remain active in the progress and development of your children both special needs and normally functioning.  Children are motivated to do well when they feel that there are people standing in their corner rooting for them to be the best that they can be.  I find that my son performs much better when he has my undevided attention.  When I am answering e-mails, studying, working, etc. he doesn't put his best foot forward.  At homework time I make sure there are no distractions so that we can spend that quality time with one another.  He always finishes quicker when we do it this way and the work is more accurate than when there are distractions.

I-RIGHT-I left the following comment to my post entitled FOOLISHNESS:

"It sounds to me that autisic and other special needs children have no business in public schools.

It also sounds like men should be teaching even if it means paying them more than women. Mr. Paddle and I would have that class's attention 30 seconds after I walked through the door."

My response to that is the following:

Ignorant comments like the one above are part of the reason children have no self control and respect for others.  Autistic children and have just as much right to an education as any other child.  If I-RIGHT-I had a child with any special needs, I'm sure he'd be singing a different tune.  To all others thank you for reading and I hope my journey is in some way helpful to you. 

I am writing this blog to encourage those who are facing a difficult time.  I generally write about my son and our battles with his autism, but the message in this blog is truly universal.  Life is hard!  There has never been a person who lived and didn't have problems.  The celebrities we watch on t.v. and in the movies all go home and live a life that is hard. It is what a person chooses to do in the face of adversity that determines who that individual is.  Strength is not just a word that describes physical ability.  Strength can be found in the smallest and unseeming people.  I just want any and everybody who reads this blog to know that there is always hope.  I know that when things are looking down that it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but believe me when I tell you that it is there.  Don't let life's trials weigh you down.  Keep fighting to reach your goals and you will. I have been fighting for an education that I never dreamt I would achieve and shortly I will be graduating from college. I was a teenage mother and I thought that I would never be able to acomplish the things that I have.  I want everybdoy reading this blog to know and understand that your life is valuable.  Your presence on this earth is necessary, and you are worth loving, living, and being.  Don't give up on yourself.  Keep fighting for whatever goals you have.  The time will come when you look back on your adversity and realize that it was never as bad as it felt when it was happening.  I hope my words can touch somebody and give them the hope, love, and encouragement they needed to face another day!

Miracles and Blessings to all who may read this and those who will not.

Today I got yet another call from my son's school saying that he was having an angry outburst. I came down to the school to find my son saying that he didn't want to be the teacher's friend. I asked why he was upset and he couldn't articulate what was making him upset. I decided to stay the entire day and observe the class and to see how the teacher interacted with the students as well as how the students behaved in the class. What I observed simply shocked me. I could not believe that the teacher had even been calling me by the way the other students in the class were behaving. The things that she said my son was doing was being done repeatedly throughout the duration of my stay by each student in the class yet no parents were called. There were children cursing, hitting, kicking, talking, yelling, throwing things, etc. However, all of these things the children were doing are things that you would expect in a kindergarten class. To take things just a step further the class is 11boys and 4 girls. This tells me right off hand that the class is going to be more rowdy than an average class because boys just naturally find things to get into. The next thing I noticed is that the teacher is very soft spoken with the children. She sort of suggests that they do things rather than insist and make them do what they are supposed to do. The teacher is also a little elderly to be working with so many young children. She was just too tired to fuss with them. The children listened to me telling them to pay attention and to listen to the teacher more than they did their real teacher. I am concerned about why and how they decide to notify parents and if they are informing the other parents about their children's behavior.

I have never been the type of parent to say what their child would not do. I have been very open to each alligation they have approached me about my son with. However after observing the class today I question the concerns that the school has brought to me. There is absolutely no structure within that classroom. Austic children need to have a structured learning environment so that they are not able to begin getting antsy and impatient. The thing about it is that there isn't enough structure for the children who are "normal" let alone enough for my son who is autistic.

     Just as a reminder I have a 6 year old kindergarten son who has autism. What prompted my series of blogs is his recent difficulties focusing and functioning at school. I was informed that my son was having some trouble with his behavior. He began displaying feelings of anger and aggression. When I received the notice I quickly began trying to work with the school to discuss options to tackle the unwanted behavior. I initially received quick responses to my e-mails and telephone calls. I was told that I would be informed within the week about a day where I could have an ARD.
     It is important for parents to know what their rights are. It is also the responsibility of the parent to make sure that the school does what they are supposed to do to educate your child. I have been trying to communicate with my son's school in order to have an ARD review for his behavior intervention program. I have yet to receive a response. I am frustrated with the faculty at Hunters Glen Elementary School. They have really dropped the ball with my son. I feel as though they are not knowledgable with dealing with children who have autism. Then they only respond to my e-mails when my son is behaving inappropriately. My main focus is finding out what triggers the inappropriate behavior in order to prevent the outbursts. The approach the school seems to be trying to implement is wait until there is a problem and then react. This is unacceptable.

My son has been diagnosed with PDD since August of 2007, but until about two weeks ago he hasn't displayed any typical tell signs other than the delayed speach. He has been aggessive and even has seemed angry the last two weeks and I am worried. I have been reading and researching more now than ever for ways to approach these concerns and the things I have been finding haven't been that exciting. HoweverI found a form of autism called aspergers. As I research aspergers more I realize that this is what I believe my son has.

Now on to the frustration. These have been a trying two weeks. I mean my son has been so aggressive, rambunctions, defiant, etc. (all of which are characteristics of autism) and I have been drained. I am frustrated with myself because I have been getting angry with my son. I have talked with family members and read message boards all of which say that these feelings are normal. I can't help but feeling terrible about the way I feel. I don't understand why I am having such a hard time being patient. When I get upset I get frustrated. Then I'm frustrated because I'm upset. It's just a crazy cycle of emotions that I cannot seem to control. I have been doing good about staying focused on creating more structure for my son to keep him occupied and to keep his mind stimulated. I hope that posting these blogs will help me channel some of my feelings.