lanny's Blog

     That's   right.  I needed help.  I started out  with remote control   firmly gripped  in my hand.  I pre-set  the channels  on  4  for the Astros, and  34  for Rice.   Feeling great  about  2 great games on  Father's Day was more than I could  stand.  I was so psyched.   And here is where the story  turns  south.

     One by one, the Yankess start scoring  with naree  a  defense  from the Stros.  Change channels  to  34..........Fresno St.  was up  7-0  in the  3rd.......I quickly reach for a Motrin.

       Time passes.............Yankess up  now  11-0............Fresno St  up  11--0  in the  5th inning................now I am on the floor looking  for  heavy  pain killers..........Wife even  tries  flipping  on  NBC  hoping  that marathon  U.S. Open would help, but to no avail.  My condition  worsened. 

   Wife calls  medics  when I apparently slipped into a coma  and slithered out of my chair  after  4  agonizing hours of  the worst  baseball beating I have ever seen.    Medics  got me up  with an oxygen mask and a steady morphine drip just in time to see the closing  moments   with the  final score   Yankees....13--0,  and  Fresno St   16---5.   Seeing the distress I was in , the  medics  removed  all life  support  and let me  die  in  semi-peace.    Miraculously  I  cam to  and found that  I had been carried  to my  bed  upstairs.  I'm not sure what happened  next  but  I wound up finding  solace  when   60 Minutes'  Morley Safer  announced  that  the  Danish  are the happiest people on earth because they have little  or no expectations of anything good actually happening to them.

    In the future  when I watch sports, I will  embrace  the  Danes  and go into the games with little or no expectations  of anything good happening to my teams.

   Sad  isn't it!

    Happy  Frickin   Father's  Day.