Jasvnn's Blog

I wanted to share that I was blessed with my own classroom in the fall at Alvin High School. When I tell you that this is a tailor-made position...it is! My desire was to work in this very district, I will be teaching my first love, and I'll be able to gain experience before enrolling in school again...just decided about that but that's a posting for another day....

Initially, I worked on the online application for over an hour months prior and with the stroke of the wrong key, I lost everything. Disgusted I told myself I was NOT going to start over again...walked away from it and everything...cried because I was so frustrated, vented to my mother the whole nine! But, as it was meant, I visited the site again and saw that the SAME position was open three months later, so I dug my heels in and started all over again. Once again I pressed the wrong button (that Enter key, I tell you!) and lost my information, but I was determined this time. I completed the application in about 45 minutes and within a week I received my call for an interview. I had been speaking that I was going to have a classroom in the fall ('for the power of life and death lies in the tongue) so I keyed the number in my phone and saved it..believing I'd get the call, which came while I was in court...and that's another story, lol!

So it was set, the interview would be that Monday....and I was ready. I had my Educational Philosophy, Resume, and Classroom Management statement in hand and ready...for the second time in my life I was interviewed by a panel for 30-40 minutes...Whew...To make an already long story short, I was offered the position within a week and a half....I said all that to say....

Be encouraged no matter where you are or what you are waiting for. Speak what you are believing God for...speaking it out helps to keep you focused (that is what it did for me). God is faithful and if He has something for you then it's yours no matter what. Do your part and wait with a heart of expectancy and thanksgiving because you already know that He is going to do His part. God gotchu! (Excuse the slang). It is too soon to give in. The manifestation of what is in store for your AMAZING future is just around the corner. We just have to remember that His timing is not our timing. Dig your heels in and stand strong...Think about a palm tree....it is so flexible and strong that it can withstand high winds. During a storm, it bends every which way...but it DOES NOT break. So go 'head with your bad self (okay I couldn't use too much slang, but would have said go 'head wit yo bad sef) and be the best that you can be because that is all He expects from you....Do not be so hard on yourself, leave room for error, growth, and change....You are phenomenal and you're cut out for this very moment. ~Blessings

Resigning my will. This phrase has been resonating in my heart and mind milling around in the recesses of my soul because I am convinced by no one other than myself that when I resign my will, every aspect of me, I will live in the total peace of God, the peace that He has had for me all along. I will no longer superficially resign or submit my will to God, but I mean totally. Why not trust my future to the All-Knowing God?

The unnecessary stress and turmoil I have experienced to date has all been self-imposed…Such negativity was able to take root because I did not see myself as God sees me. I rated myself or held myself according to, again, self-imposed standards that unrealistically caused me to view and to consider myself through lenses obstructed with low self-esteem.

I will no longer apologize for who God created me to be. I will live unapologetically with bold, yet humbled, assurance that God has equipped me for this very moment and the moments that extend beyond. The least I can do is resign my will to the God who has always had my best interest at heart. What is so amazing is that God loves all of us so much. His love for us is not an infinite concept, but a reality that is infinite. He loves us individually, collectively, and simultaneously. There is nothing we can do to separate from His Love (Romans 8:35).

He loves us beyond all man-made methods of measurement. Resign your will to Him. He can more than handle it. Take the measurements off of Him. Who am I to place God in a box? The Creator of everything? All things? Me? The Creator who grants free thinking? Why in my narrow frame of mind or skewed perception would I limit and confine Him? Why will I not experience the life He has for me? What other choices do I have? Will I continue to run into a brick wall, which is totally at my discretion? Or will I rEsIgN my life to Him?

Okay, something I plan to do more of this year is WRITE, which makes sense right seeing as though I have a Master's in English and American Literature...lol. I feel like I should write about everything and nothing in particular. Since I do not have to write academic papers at this point in my life, I should write for myself...I used to in college and forgot how therapeutic and relaxing it is.But really, I saw this quote today ('Any man can love a thousand women but it takes a real man to love ONE woman a thousand ways'), and it really provoked me soooo, I asked myself:

Can anyone, not just a man, love in a thousand ways if they do not know what unconditional love is?

Or can anyone love the next person as such without loving him/herself?

My answer is NO because how can I give what I don't possess?

I think today alot of us are reeling from the lack of self-love and self-acceptance. We are seeking exterior things to complete and to satisfy us, while not even paying attention to our interior...our interior, the core, the essence of who we are and what makes those who care about us love and accept us even if there are things about us that they do not like (For instance, my mom cannot stand the fact that I sometimes correct her improper grammar...ha!! And the funny thing is is that she is a stickler for speaking properly).

Our interior needs to be nourished and replenished daily whether it is through prayer, meditation, reading, whatever mode of expression that allows us to connect with our spirit and in turn connect with God. In our relationships, how can we expect the other person to love and to accept us unconditionally when we don't do the same for ourselves? And how can we expect to have meaningful relationships when we barely take time with the One who created relationships... and since He created them, does not it make sense that He would want to share time with us? I mean personally, I take time with and for things I care about so why should it be any different with God....okay...please excuse that side bar...back to self-love and self-acceptance....

Thinking about this personally, I have decided that I'm going to have my own 'Private Party' this year by falling in love with Jasmin Jade (yes, I referred to myself in third person...smile) in a new way every day. I mean really, how I can expect a man (who I hope materializes soon...lol) to love and accept me in a thousand ways, when I can't find one way to love and accept myself?And if he does not know how to love and accept himself unconditionally, then my prayer would be that God show me how I can share with the him the fullness and satisfaction of doing so.

Like India. Arie says in her song "I Choose:" 'I choose to be the best that I can be, I choose to be authentic in everything!' And I choose to do so for MY sake. I am going to celebrate me and the woman I am 'becoming!' and I just want to encourage everyone to do the same...

Each of you is 'fearfully and wonderfully' made, created for a divine and amazing purpose, and loved by an amazing God who loves beyond measure and past time. So love you....really LOVE YOU!!

~~blessings

I received this in an email today and wanted to share my thoughts....
--
Beautifully Stated

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to
ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably
more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best
friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry
because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you
love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve
never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute
of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.
~anonymous~

--

I think that sometimes we expect those we care about in our lives to be perfect. But as we grow, we realize that this will not be the case and understanding that is the beginning of being content with those we love and loving them unconditionally.

We are only human. This statement should not be an excuse, but a reminder that we are going to fall short. But as long as we have the desire and are willing, we can pick ourselves up and start anew. That is what is special about our free will. It is amazing to think about the ’audacity of hope.’ In spite of, we can press forward in any situation because with perseverance and faith, we know that we will prevail.

Nothing can ever stay the same too long because anything that is stagnant dies. A dear friend of mine has a quote that says:
’I am just like the PHOENIX, I continue to die and then I am reborn from
the ashes of my former self. I rise stronger, more powerful, and a
significantly wiser human being than ever before. I shine even brighter. As I
carry my light to the darkest sectors of our world.’--Eric Michael Brown

With each new day we have an opportunity to be better, to grow wiser, to live passionately, to care and to love more deeply, and to live life like we mean it.

LIVE with pUrPoSe.
LIVE for pUrPoSe.
LIVE on pUrPoSe.

~~Blessings