Ned Hibberd's Blog

The left lane of any multi-lane highway is generally reserved for passing slower vehicles.

But all too often, you'd think THIS was the law of the land:

In my life in the left lane, I've noticed there are basically two kinds of drivers.

I've come to call them Keeper-Uppers and Non-Keeper-Uppers.

The Keeper-Uppers, of course, maintain their speed at a relatively fixed distance behind the car in front of them (hopefully, a safe distance).

The Non-Keeper-Uppers, on the other hand, drive to their own (slower) drummer, gradually falling behind the vehicles in front of them.

And so you often end up with a row of Keeper-Uppers in the left lane, all crowded behind a single Non-Keeper-Upper, who apparently never checks the rear-view mirror.

That's when the less patient Keeper-Uppers tend to peel out and pass on the right, if possible, and sometimes if nearly impossible.

To my way of thinking, this is where accidents wait to happen.

If we could just ask the Non-Keeper-Uppers to move out of the left lane, I think everyone would be happier and safer, too.

So... which kind of driver are YOU?

Ned

Studies show that you can improve your fuel ecomony by as much as 21 percent by turning off your air conditioner.

A neat tip, but I don't think I could do that here in the hot Houston sun... could you?

Ned

If you've ever driven south on the Southwest Freeway, I'm sure you've witnessed a safety-conscious scene like this:

I say "LIKE" this, because I'm not really talking about Joe and Jane Idiot's journey to the lakehouse.

I'm referring to the clusters of connected cars and trucks, stuffed to the gills with small appliances, heading south of the border.

I'm guessing the vehicles are being transported for sale in Mexico or Central America after being bought dirt cheap at auction on this side of the Rio Grande.

Usually, the last of several hitched vehicles will have "IN TOW" painted across the rear window.  Usually.

On one occasion I observed "IN TOW" clearly marked on the vehicle doing the towing, while the one actually being towed had no markings at all.  Another fine example of a driver who was unclear on the concept.

I've always thought many of these rigs were patently unsafe.  Especially those in which a bus is towing a truck which is towing a car or two.

But the other night, I witnessed one that put all previous dangerous driving to shame.  I tried to take a photo, but the night was too dark.  So use your imagination.

Picture a flatbed wrecker carrying three cars, the last one hanging off the back, its rear wheels dangling.  Now add on another car that's hitched to the flatbed.  And another being towed by that car.

It was so ridiculously risky, I couldn't imagine why the entire perilous parade hadn't been pulled over by cops in every jurisdiction along the way.

But that's just my experience; you may have a different point-of-view.

I think they ought to hire enough drivers so that nobody's towing more than one vehicle.  What do you think?

Ned

When people talk about the "good old days," I doubt many are referring to this:

One of our worthy competitors in the TV news game has plastered Houston with billboards.

Surely you've seen this one along a highway near you:

Here's what they're offering: Live traffic video from over 600 roadside cameras.  On your cell phone.

The only thing missing is the legal disclaimer.

If people have to be reminded that McDonald's coffee is hot, surely someone needs to inform the motoring public that viewing traffic on your cell phone while driving could be hazardous to your health.

I'm sure you've had this experience.  You're cruising down the highway, when up ahead you spot a motorist whom you immediately peg as a drunk driver.  Weaving.  Slowing down and speeding up.

You delicately pull aside, intending to gun it and get past this public menace.  Just out of curiosity, you glance up to see what a really inebriated motorist looks like.  And then you spot the true source of the intoxication: a cell phone, glued to one ear.

Now just imagine the same cell phone propped on the steering wheel, displaying a series of traffic cameras on its tiny, pixilated screen.

Does anyone else think this is a bad idea?

Ned

And the winner is...my chosen license plate!

The votes are in, and an unofficial tally favors "Lone Star Texas," the design for which I voted. Score one for good taste!

The Texas Dept. of Transportation will certify the votes, making sure Sally MacDonald didn't vote twice for that wimpy wildflower design...

...which my wife also admitted to liking. What is it with women and pastels?

Then, production of the winning plate is supposed to begin next January. What? We have to wait a year before they even START working on them??

Which brings me to this question: have you ever seen Texas license plates being manufactured? I have. They're made at the Wynne prison unit in Huntsville.

If you don't believe me, here's a short educational video on the topic:

ftp://ftp.dot.state.tx.us/pub/txdot-info/vtr/video/
licenseplates.wmv

In a different lifetime, back in 1989, I was working for a federal judge, doing a workplace inspection of the Wynne unit's manufacturing floor.

As I watched the inmates stamping license plates out of sheet metal (a process that puts fingers and hands at great risk), I reflected on the stated goals of our prison system.

At that time, it was called the Texas Department of Corrections, or "TDC" for short. And part of TDC's mission was to teach prisoners valuable skills that would ensure their survival in "the world."

So these inmates were learning to make license plates. And where might they be able to apply this particular skill? Why, in prison, of course!

Does anyone else have a problem with the circularity of this logic??

Ned