Ned Hibberd's Blog

Ask any English major about O. Henry's famous short story, "The Gift of the Magi."

 In it, a husband and wife scheme to give each other meaningful Christmas presents.

The husband pawns his prized pocketwatch to purchase elegant combs for his wife's beautiful, long locks.

The wife, meantime, chops her hair so she can sell it to a wigmaker.  This, so she can buy her husband a gold chain for his pocketwatch.

So much for man and wife second-guessing each other.  At least their intentions were noble.

But I was recently reminded of a similar situation, minus the noble intentions, which I stumbled upon while reporting a story.

I found myself in a Houston body shop, interviewing a man for a news report.  There on the shop floor sat a wrecked Dodge Viper, its entire back end crushed like a Coke can.

"What happened HERE?" I asked the body-shop guy.

He smiled (smirked, maybe) and related this story:

A woman and her husband were rushing to get to an appointment.  She was driving her BMW, following him in his Viper.

As they barrelled down the streets of Houston, a welcoming green traffic light suddenly turned menacingly yellow.

Now, this wife KNEW her husband.  She knew him well.  And she was certain he would gun it to beat the light.  So she gunned it, too.

The husband, meantime, KNEW his wife.  And he knew she would slam on the brakes rather than risk running the light.  So he slammed on the brakes, too.

And her BMW rear-ended his Viper.

I'd have loved to be a fly on the wall in their home, that night.  Title this story, "The RIFT of the Magi!"

Both husband and wife guessed each other's reaction.  Both were right.  And both cars were ruined.

Truth, you see, IS stranger than fiction.

Not even O. Henry could have invented that story.  Even though he DID live in Houston for a time.  In the 1800's.  Well before Vipers, BMW's and traffic lights.

-Ned