Nunyabiz's Blog

I wholeheartedly agree. Children don't need to be coddled, and given everything. It helps NO-ONE. When they grow up, and have to be on their own for the first time, the get the "reality shock", which is too much for them to handle, and so they look for other means to get back to the lifestyle they've been accustomed to.
However, I think it's possible to be TOO strict at times, which can have equally adverse affects. I say let the punishment fit the offense, and the reward fit the good deed.

I have only one child, and she has her own cell phone, a Swavorski crystal tiara (not from me!!), two iPods, a Coach purse, and a myriad of American Girl dolls. (We tease her and tell her that's where her college money has gone.) Not all from me, but from the entire family-- her dad, her grandparents, her aunts/uncles, etc.
She is eleven years old, very respectful, (but will check you if you step out of line, like I've raised her to do) very considerate, very studious (a geek, IOW). On the rare occasion that she does step out of line, stuff is taken away (the Coach purse, cell phone and iPod usually) and she has to earn it back. But that is rare. She has worked very hard what she has received. The dolls were rewards for a straight A report card. Others were Christmas and birthday gifts.
The clothes/shoes I agree with. She gets one pair of nice dress shoes, one pair of nice gym shoes (I am a big believer in good athletic shoes) and one pair of nice boots. Everything else is Payless, Walmart, Target. She simply grows out of them too fast. Her school uniforms are always a size or two too big, so she can wear them for a couple of years. They simply cost too much to replace every year.

She's a good kid..but then, she's not a teenager yet.

Hah! The day I buy my daughter a Coach purse is when I buy myself a Louis Vuitton (never happen)! I do believe you get what you pay for, though, and am a mall shopper, but I don't buy anything for anyone unless it's on sale. I have gone to Macy's and bought 3 outfits (pants and shirts) for $50.

I've raised my children to be grateful for what they have available. They know that their parents are not Rockefeller or Gates. However, they do know that we can have fun on a budget. Their parents love them and want the very best for them. Actually, never allowed them to have extremely expensive things - given to them (Coach, iPods, cell phones, Nikes, Air Jordan's, Baby Phat or whatever the most expensive trend is for a teenager). Felt like it did not teach them anything about life. Taught them to value a dollar. Do a good days work in order to receive a good reward. Study hard and look to your future ahead. When you get to be 18 years old, you graduate and begin college. Then your rewards for extra things can be given. I'm not strict, I just think life is not about material possessions. Oh, and each one of them have gone off to attend University. Each one I'm very proud of, because I know they have worked for everything they have achieved. I've had various parents from church ask me how to help them with their children. They tell me I've done something right. Actually, I give the credit to God. By always having my focus upon Him and not on what so and so is wearing, our priorities have turned into grateful people.

with her dad in his transmission shop. He wants her to do office stuff. I, however, want her to learn a skill that will always benefit her..I want her to learn to build standard transmissions. She was skeptical at first, but I told her she will ALWAYS be able to get a job doing that, no matter WHERE she is...and the fact that she'll be a girl, and a cute one at that, will help her immensely. She seems amused by the idea.