Aponi's Blog

Last Sunday, October 5, my fifth grandchild entered the world.  Gabriel was born to my son and his wife (my daughter by marriage...I hate the words in-law).

Gabe is the third grandchild I've been lucky enough to see come into this world.  I must say there is something so magical, so miraculous about childbirth.  Hearing that first cry, is the most amazing experience, but to me watching the faces of my chidren as they welcome their own child into the world is by far the best part of the entire experience.  Watching that first glimpse of total unconditional love that parents have for their children is an awesome feeling.  My own heart was full of love for my own children, and now grandchildren.

My children have made wonderful choices with their mates.  Now, all of them have their own children to love, and protect.  I very much look forward to years of watching them grow as families.  

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August twenty-first....the day I was born into this mortal world,  August twenty-first, the day my father was born into heaven.  Time really does help to heal hurts life inflicts upon us.  It's been six years now since my father died.  I still think of him, but now the hurt and grief have subsided enough that I can now remember all the wonderful times we had and how much he loved life without instantly thinking of his last days with us.

About two weeks or so before his death, my Father started talking to people we could not see.   At first we put it down to hallucinations.  After a while we realized it was the same three people he appeared to be conversing with.  At first he would ask us who they were, and why they never left.  He got a little touchy when one of them kept sitting on his bed. As time went on he appeared to be more at ease with them being there, except for the times the nurses or my step-mother would give him a bath.  Evidently one of the beings was female, and he did not like her in the room during that time!

My Father's death process was difficult, and he tried very hard to go "home" one night.  He got very frustrated, telling us he wanted to go, but it was not quite time yet.  He lapsed into a coma later that night.  It was not until all of his children and my step-mother told him we would be okay, and we understood it was time for him to go that he let go himself.

About a week later during a family dinner, we discussed the three people my Father kept seeking.  By now, we had pretty much concluded they were his Angels.  We wondered what they looked like, why there were three of them,  if we all had our Angels.  My son-in-law shocked all of us by giving brief descriptions of the beings.  It seems he did see them, but refused to say anything other than he did see them and what they looked like.  That is the one and only time he ever discussed it.

I could go on and on about my Dad's last days, there were so many instances of him knowing exactly where he was going.  In some ways, this process brought me peace. When he died, he had a smile on his face, even while in  a coma.

Do you believe in Angels?  Do you think they were figments of his imagination?  What about my son-in-law?  Figments of his imagination too?

Wednesday the Houston Chronicle ran a story on the dangers of eating fish caught in Galveston Bay.  The article included a photo of a pregnant woman fishing.  Apparently this photo has upset some people.  One person went so far as to say, " it ruined his/her appetite for breakfast. "

  I feel pregnancy is such a beautiful time for women.   These days women are wearing clothing that actually accentuates the pregnant body instead of "hiding" it as was done in my day.   I hardly think wearing a bathing suit, while fishing is inappropriate.  Would these people have her fully clothed standing in the water fishing?  

How do you feel about the photo?  Do you think it was inappropriate or just a nice picture of a perfectly normal part of life?

I received this in an email.  I thought it appropriate for this week-end.

In honor of those who have sacrificed in the past and will do so in the future.

http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Battle%20Hymn/
index.htm

A few months ago I wrote asking if dogs went to heaven.  I received some wonderful replies and am grateful for the kind thoughts.   I grieved for Maria, and most likely always will.  She was a wonderful pet, and companion.  I missed that companionship, that love that was freely given, asking nothing in return.  I have a new puppy, one that looks somewhat like Maria,  and shares her loving personality.  Chica is a joy.  I had forgotten how much puppies like to play!  I've posted a picture of her standing in her bed. 

 We also adopted a wonderful dog from the pound.  He's part border collie, part Rhodesian Ridgeback.  He's smart as a whip and loves the country life.  I'll try and get a picture of him if I can get him to be still long enough!

There are so many kind, loving people that post here.  I thank you for the words of advice and words of  kindness.

Friday was one of the hardest days of my life.  After almost fifteen years of loving companionship I had my "baby" put to sleep.  Granted, Maria was a dog, but she was such a loving part of my life. I knew this was the best for her, but I never expected to feel the guilt I now feel.  How long will I second guess my decision?  I like to believe that she will be in Heaven, being taken care of by my Father.  Dogs may not have souls, but if she brought happiness to us here, wouldn't it stand to reason she would be there to continue bringing happiness to all who loved her?

This is not the first time I've had to stand by while a loved pet has been eased from pain and suffering, but this hurts the most by far.  Has anyone been in my shoes?  Any words of wisdom for this situation would be welcome.

Picking a catagory for this was difficult, but I have to believe that God in his infinite mercy know's how much love and pleasure Maria bestowed upon her human family, and is now watching over her.